(Not a Whole Lot About) Sex
Hi ya’ll
Today’s post is going to be short. This week we talked about
sex and infidelity. (In a dispassionate tone:) it was cool.
I think that the main thing that I learned
personally is that sex is important, but it isn’t the biggest part of life. To quote
my psych111 professor, Fred Woolley, (we talked about this in psych this week,
as well) “it’s the most powerful form of emotional connection you can make
naturally,” and to paraphrase him, it’s also the highest high that the brain
can experience naturally and without killing off brain cells. That’s a big deal.
Sex is something very powerful. It binds emotionally, it creates strong
emotions, it can create another human being. “If handled naturally it can be
the most destructive force on the face of the earth” (Brother Williams), if handled
correctly it can be a strength to a family and a marriage. But at the same
time, people can live happily and successfully without it. I’m a virgin, I’m
happy. I’m glad that I have chosen to deal with something that is that sacred,
powerful, complex, and life-affecting with only one other person after we have
a good relationship, are committed to one another and our values, and are
legally married. And if I never find
that person and get married, I know that I’ll still be okay because I can live
without sex. What people can’t live without is intimacy. According to the
authors of our textbook, human beings need intimacy much more than they need
sex, and sex itself will become meaningless, empty, and unsatisfying without
that intimacy (Lauer & Lauer 82-83).
Intimacy and companionship are just as important as food and water to
human beings’ proper and healthy development, as is seen in the lives of
orphans and monkeys in psychology studies. So, while sex is a big deal
and should be handled correctly, it isn’t everything and I’m good with that. Which
is kind of why I’m sick of talking about it. I appreciate the other things that
I’ve learned, but at this single, teen-age point in my life, they aren’t
applicable. I’ll save them for a rainy day and dust them back off again later
on down the road. I don’t believe in worrying too much about the future or the
past. I want to live in the present! while I’m alive.
For those of you who probably aren’t
actually reading this, but, hey, maybe somebody will stumble across it, and are
married (or not) and do need some help, (because sex is a bigger part of
life for those engaging in it) ya’ll can check out this link and somebody who
is more qualified to discuss this can have your attention.
Good luck out there.
Kyann
Reference:
Lauer, Robert H., and Lauer, Jeanette C. (2012) Marriage
& Family: The Quest for Intimacy, 8th Edition. Boston: McGraw-Hill.
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